Hello blog

Hey Blog, sorry for neglecting you recently. Sometimes, I wonder how people like Mr Brown, Xia Xue do it? When does a blog become a burden rather than a place for us to pen thoughts recharge and rediscovery ourselves, and instead mutate into some kind of virtual monster. Ok that is an exaggeration, not a monster, a kind of persona, a persepctive through which we experience the world. To the extent where everything we have experienced has to become translated into a blog entry. Weird. Sometimes I really wish I can cut this blog free so it becomes a wild thing with its own life rather than this thing that I have to keep maintaining.

When we write to keep readers from being disappointed or to keep them entertained it requires alot of effort, time and re-visualizing and re-experiencing and re-enacting endlessly until everything cease to really mean much.

Yes, I know we all have the impulse to express ourselves and an impulse to exhibit parts of our lives. But so too, we have the impulse to have privacy, keep secrets. And sometimes, blogging is a drag. Probably one reason why I don't keep diaries. At some point (my opinion) diary becomes an accounting book of our lives. Subtracting more than it adds to our everyday experiences.

Everybody has something to say now-a-days. Everybody has stories to tell. Everybody has so much to say, that in the end there is nothing very worthwhile to say afterall. Everybody wants to publish a book, make a movie, show a point-of-view. It just becomes easier to ignore.

Yes, I am disappointed with this blog in a way. What began as a kind of space for growth ends up being so stagnant. I feel like one of those people with a point-of-view sranding on some building with a loud hailer proclaiming things to no one. Nothign means much after a while. I don't want to admit. But, yes, sometimes it is just tiring to blog. Tiring to say things when there are just so much noise already in the world.