It is quite pointless to try to please other people. I don't know why I still try. Why do I have some kind of delusion that if I try hard enough, someone will recognise me in my effort. People don't. It is always the people who don't give a damn that others try their best to please, not those who try too hard to please. It's been like that with my mum since I can't even think back how far. I am always trying to please her, but honestly, I am waiting for the day when I no longer give a shit. And I'm not saying this in anger, but to not give a shit is a kind of freedom that I think we sometimes must learn to take. It hurts when we put too much enphasis on the way we are judged and defined by others. Sometimes it is great not to give a shit, especially to the people most dear to us. It is sometimes self-affirming and we all need to take that time to just be ourselves and not give a shit to what anyone of anything else think or have to say about us.

I think there is truth in the fact that everyone is a bit of an asshole. We just take people who try their best to please us for granted on the other hand we treasure people who won't lift a finger. I think it is ok to live with the fact that I am not perfect and never will be, without having anyone else bring it up like an accusation. Growing up is learning to deal with our own imperfections and attaining maturity is to learn to accept that others will always notice our imperfections first before anything else.

We are not invincible to the words others say and the looks others give, but sometimes it is ok. To not give them and their looks and words a shit. I think. It is perfectly ok to just say: Whatever, I don't give a shit.