On Regret and unwanted memories

I think I will appreciate The Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind a lot more now. Still, I wouldn't change a thing in my life, all the choices I made. I don't need to erase any memories or go back to change any of my choices, although the idea is extremely tempting. Lee asked me once if I would choose to do that if I could. I said no. I didn't say that because I was self-righteous or because I don't regret choices I made. I still remember the first time I felt regret as a child--the feeling is horrible and I think I obsessed about not repeating the same thing in my life again. Still, where would I be if it was not for all those things I look back at and wish I had done different. If I made all those changes, I wouldn't even recognize myself. Perhaps, we hang on because we have all these illusions about how things would have been better if we chose other wise. But here we are, we have one life, one chance to choose all the things we choose. Perhaps, this is pigheadedness or stubbornness on my part, but I believe that we are left with responsibilities for what we choose and we have to stand by them and live out the consequences.

Remember Frost's poem from our sec 3 lit class? Sometimes, I am tempted to laugh at it, because the metaphor seems such a cliche. But still there's a part of me that feels that it still rings true. You can't save that other path for some other day. Indeed, way leads on to way and sometimes you think, how would life be different if I had taken that other path, but perhaps it is better to enjoy the very path you are on. And then again, perhaps they are not all that different, afterall we can only meet one end.