A kind of freedom

A few hours to spare before work, so here I am writing and procrastinating instead of doing work that needs to be done by Wednesday. Seems like there is an inverse relationship to how much work gets done and how urgent it is. I tend to avoid doing things when they are urgent. But who can blame me, I hate stress and getting stressed out, I get too nervous. Yeah yeah, I know what you guys are going to say. But I have to admit there is something quite thrilling about deadlines and rushing to meet them. Haha here's a new theory--procrastinators are really thrill seekers.

No really, I'm just bored. I think I've finally stopped my moping. I notice that I blog more when I'm in a mop-ish mood. Maybe that's why writers are always so melancholy. I imagine someone trying to cheer the depressive, suicidal writers up, and they fly into a fury "You are interrupting with my creative mood."

Don't know what's going to happen to me in the coming few months. I am getting very tired of city College. I am definitely going to take a break from writing lab. I have also signed up for a writing class at Berkeley extension. Compared to the classes at city, these extension classes are really really expensive. So I'm just going to try one class out and see how it goes. I also have thoughts of taking more journalism classes at City. To be quite practical, creative writing is not going to make me a living. And if I want to write for a living, maybe I should consider journalism. Only thing is, I am completely unfamiliar with journalism and I am quite aware that they are completely different kinds of writing, and the expectations are altogether different. But either way, I see no harm in learning more about writing.

I am planning to go up to Oregon this summer and see if it's a place I would like to move to. Lee, of course, keeps telling me how dull Portland is. I don't know, I always feel that I can't trust Lee's advice because he always has his agendas. But I appreciate his suggesting Seattle. I feel that Lee is just a city-lover. He has a really negative view of the suburban, but I love a more quiet regular life. I really don't think the city is that great.

But I am looking forward to the summer, and to the changes that would follow in fall.

You know, sometimes I feel that this itch to move is passed on from my parents. We get restless in places, and I don't get attached to places like others do. I have no sense of "Home" or that i have found my place in the world. But that too, is a kind of freedom, I guess.