Saw something weird, but thought-provoking today.
There's this huge canal that I walk along everday on my way home. It's one of those huge water drainage thing that is so wide, it sometimes look like a river for we Singaporeans who are really starving for some beautiful sceneries. But (whatever),Hey don't laugh, sometimes there are white crane-like birds preying there, I even spotted a king-fisher there once. But really, I'm sidetracking. Today, I saw something rather amazing.
I saw this huge tortoise, it was almost the size of my foot. But it was struggling to swim against the currents. the canal originally forked out in 3 directions but they met at a point and flows down a short step creating a tiny rapid (a really small version of a waterfall) The water flows towards the sea and the tortoise was swimming in the opposite direction. It kept swimming towards the rapid, and it kept getting flushed backwards. But it kept going, getting pushed back, kept going, getting pushed back, kept going and getting pushed back. The tortoise was quite determined to get to the other side of the rapid. But it had 2 obstacles. The rapid which kept pushing it back and the step which was too high for it to crawl across(unless it stood on 2 legs). It kept raising its head as if to gauge the height of the thing. And everytime it tried to get close it got flushed backwards. It tried to swim to the side where the force of the falling water was smaller but no matter what it tried, it was impossible. I stayed there for more than 5 minutes just watching the tortoise struggling to get to the other side. My sis and I were speculating, what could be driving it to want to get to the other side. I thought maybe it was trying to get home. My sis suggested that maybe it laid some eggs it was trying it get to. After watching a while more of its futile attempt. We walked off. My sis told me that the tide rises at around 5 pm. And when the tide rises, it would be able to swim across. I hope the tortoise had not given up and hope that it has now reached where it wanted to go.
But I wonder if I would be able to be as determined or as stupid (depending on how you see it) as the tortoise, to keep trying and trying and trying even though the chances are low that it will cross over. I wonder what happened to it now. Hopefully, it has found its way home and are watching over her eggs.
By: Nippy | Wednesday, November 30, 2005 at 9:24 PM | | 
4
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N one to Gooooooooooooooooo
By: Nippy | Sunday, November 27, 2005 at 10:27 PM | |
Hey Li, really am grateful for you as a friend leh... dunno leh, even though we are so different, I always feel that you understand. Thanks Li. Anyway, I am down with 4 papers, 1 last one to go! I know what you mean Li, and am very touched by your entry. Your faith is a beautiful thing to witness. Li, your certainty and trust is heartwarming leh..
Just want to tell you that I really am happy that you have found that love,freedom, confidence, life, purpose, and your personal friend. I know that faith is not something I can understand based on anything rational, nor something I can find through intellect. It is just seeing the sky on a sunny day when you feel that breeze and you know that god is real. Or when I see things and am amazed by how they are all are driven by something by some forces that makes the world go round. But Li, I'm still trying to find my way. I too, hope that one day when I find my presonal friend and spiritual guide it is by faith and love, not by my intellect or reason. For I still believe the heart sees much more than the eye can.
Believe-Josh Groban
Children sleeping
snow is softly falling.
Dreams are calling
like bells in the distance.
We were dreamers not so long ago.
But one by one we all had to grow up.
When it seems the magic slipped away,
we find it all again on Christmas day...
Believe in what your heart is saying,
hear the melody that's playing.
There's no time to waste,
there's so much to celebrate.
Believe in what you feel inside,
And give your dreams the wings to fly.
You have everything you need,
If you just believe.
Trains move quickly to their journey's end.
Destinations are we begin again.
Ships go sailing far across the sea.
Trust in starlight, to get where they need to be.
When it seems that we have lost our way,
we find ourselves again on Christmas day...
Believe in what your heart is saying,
hear the melody that's playing.
There's no time to waste,
there's so much to celebrate.
Believe in what you feel inside,
And give your dreams the wings to fly.
You have everything you need,
If you just believe.
If you just believe.
If you just believe.
If you just believe.
Just believe.
Just believe.
By: Nippy | Saturday, November 26, 2005 at 10:04 PM | |
Li, reading your post about your manila experience. I feel happy for you and at the same time thoughtful. You've come back refreshed and spiritually revived. You sound ecstatic! Maybe It's been too long since I last felt that kind of spiritual freedom. I remember feeling joy during worship and yes, a strange kind of release. It's like I don't care who I am. I felt glad. There was no past and future, only the feeling of the present joy and freedom and confidence that there is something bigger than myself out there. There was also the times when a whole mass of people sang in unison when I felt connected to others. Like I am not alone in the world, like we are all so connected to one another but it's just that we can't really see it. that feeling that everyone there felt the same. That we are not some isolated autonomous being, each going our own way, doing our own things until the day we die and then the end.
I did a module on religion and history this sem, I definitely do not agree with the Marxist veiw that religion is an opiate of the masses, and it is a form of delusion that as we progress and science starts providing us with answers it will become irrelevant. Despite Marx's genius, that is foolishness. There is that void of being human and the existence of religion is not a symptom of delusion or economic inequalities or whatever lack of scientific information. It is the struggle of not knowing yet being aware. Of being able to question but having no answers. Why am I here? Why do I have to die? Where do I go after death? The problem of being human and knowing so. Religion will not disappear, not until science can explain the whole universe and the meaning of life. (which it prob never will)
Sometimes, I wonder why do I still struggle. I don't know in my heart of hearts that one religion is better than another, or that it is the right one for me. If I try not to think about it, nothing happens. But when I do, I get all confused. Perhaps, it is the issue of faith, if only I can close my eyes and just leap with the fullest confidence that I will not fall. But it is not only that, maybe it is not knowing where to jump, why I should jump and fear that once I have jumped I cannot jump back.
Or perhaps, it is the struggles of being a human which I do not want to let go off. Maybe I need them to continue to know that I am, and I struggle and I fear and I get angry as well as I am confidence, I love life, I feel safe and I am happy. That I need the questions as much as I need those answers. Knowing that there is a void but that this void makes me whole. [see! It is a can of worms! I can't open it without everything spilling out. Sigh...]
p.s Li sorry about yesterday, i want to hear more about your trip! My last paper ends on the 1st!
By: Nippy | Friday, November 25, 2005 at 10:23 AM | |
By: Nippy | Tuesday, November 22, 2005 at 6:10 PM | |
(Sing to the tune of Jingle Bells)
Sucks, Sucks, Sucks.
Sucks, Sucks, Sucks,
studying all day.
Oh what dread it is to think of exams everyday. Oh!
Sucks, Sucks, Sucks
Sucks, Sucks, Sucks
Where is HOLIDAY?
Oh I feel so horrified that it's so far away! Hey!
By: Nippy | Monday, November 21, 2005 at 11:51 PM | |
You are the snake.
Saint Exupery's 'The Little Prince' Quiz. brought to you by QuizillaI got this quiz while blog surfing. It's a nice quiz. You guys should try it too. I really wish I was the boa constrictor which swallowed the elephant. Well, too bad... that would be so Straaaaaaaangggggeee.
I read the
The Little Prince sometime back, but of all the characters, the snake was the biggest puzzle to me. I never really did understand its motive in biting the little prince. I guess it didn't need to have one. Frankly, in the book there are other nastier characters 'oh-so-self-important' characters. But I remeber feeling anger against the snake. Maybe it's because I can't thoroughly understand that "what is essential is invisible to the eye'. Maybe it because, the little prince's journey back to his planet looked too much like death. Or maybe it's because the snake had that power to kill. But was the snake evil or was it simply something natural? It is a puzzle, in less than a page, it has come, it has taken or it has given and left.
Maybe truly innocent beings ( I shan't say people)know no fear, not even of death? But there was a question I had always wondered on reading
The LIttle Prince . where is the line between innocence and ignorance. Maybe if one has never known bitterness, evil, sadness, death one could be truly innocent. But I would not want a life like that, perhaps that's why I will continue to puzzle over the snake.
[Shuts! I really need to slap myself! I have wasted an hour on this and my exam's is tomorrow. Oh well...."Ignorance is Bliss" if only i can enter the exam hall with this motto. I wonder how the little prince would react to exams? He would probably hand in a blank sheet (what is essential invisible to the eye)]
By: Nippy | Friday, November 18, 2005 at 2:23 PM | |
Our minds are such strange things. I have been reading this weird book written by this smart but strange guy(but then most smart people are kind of strange). Listen to this:
"One common experience by Columbus, Magellan, Cook and Darwin (sea captains in 16th century during the heyday of naval expedition in Europe)was that indigenous people..could not see the ships docked off shore...The natives could not see something that did not fit into their conceptual scheme of reality, their mindset. Even though the light from the ship reached their eyes, their brain did not register the ship as real. Once it was explained to them what they could expect to see, they could perceive. This confirms the idea that reality is a product of our belief system rather than inherently objective phenomenon."
Simon Hein, Opening Minds
That is a really strange (and frankly rather scary)thing to suggest. It is quite shocking to think that we only see "reality" as such because we can only imagine "reality" as such. That is our mind gives reality its form. If that is true, it probably means that no one is really insane. It is just that some sees a different reality because they have a rather different belief system? Then perhaps, there is a ghost sitting next to me now, or maybe in the room next door some Martians are watching T.V. because I cannot imagine this to be real, I will not be able to see it. It is a crazy thing to suggest. But it is disturbing precisely because it is highly plausible and it is not totally unbelievable.
Wow, if this is indeed true, it probably means that we can travel back in time and we don't even need to disguise ourselves, maybe there are time travellers mingling among us. Only "mad" people can see them, but too bad no one will believe them.
This is too mind-boggling. Think I will hop over to my parents' room and join the non-existent Martians in watching something brainless on T.V. Maybe the crappy channel 8 drama about dancing. If channel 8 can make such a bad drama one day that no one can even register it because it is so unimaginable bad, then I will really applaud them. Hey, I think I've just been inspired! I have a new goal in life, I shall work towards producing the 'unreal', 'un-perceivable' drama. I may even win the 'unreal' Oscar awards.
By: Nippy | Wednesday, November 16, 2005 at 8:27 PM | |
I'm crazy.(maybe) I'm stressed.(definitely) I am hungry.
There is a mountain of readings I need to get through before the exams-But I'll much rather watch the T.V.
I wish I had more money.
I want to travel.
I'm happy-(thinking of the holidays).
But! There's also the exams.
I'm contradictory. I'm bored.
By: Nippy | Sunday, November 13, 2005 at 8:59 PM | |
Hey Li, Wei Ling, I thought of you guys this afternoon. It's strange. I thought of our 4B wishing tree which is probably chopped off by now. I think that is the reason why I refuse to go back to AHS to visit because I don't want to see the new-old block. The other day, my sis and I were chatting and we were talking about all the things we will miss if we leave Singapore. I will miss the people and the food, but we were quite surpirsed that both of us felt that we will miss the places.
[It is really strange. Everytime I need to study and really concentrate my brain will wander, and I will think of all the trivial stuff. ] I once watched a documentary about ghosts and spirits (yar I know, don't roll your eyes). But I feel that I agree with one thing the spiritual experts say. They mentioned that sometimes very old places retain the memories, especially if the events involves extreme emotions. Which is why, they explain that places where murder has taken place becomes haunted. Ok, I know it is far-fetched. But I do feel that old places have that memory-hauntedness, even if you don't see the ghosts of the past, you'll still feel a sense of the history of the place. I just thought of all the places in AHS.
The flagpole, the parade square, how the concrete floor is grey and has weird patterns and is full of ants. How late-comers always put their bags at the side. I once lied down on the concrete and it's damn hot.
The choir room and the horrible stink of socks during choir practise and how they always sprayed lemon air fresheners (terrible mix). and how the choir wall is so ugly. Remember they are white paper mache stripes laid out in random pattern.(ugly holes) And the composers pictures on the wall? The wooden floor. Orange blinds. And the two doors, with the stupid shoe rack outside?
Remember, there used to be a cage area near the music room? It looks liek a cell with piano in it. And I remember doing my sectional practise in that horrid cell.
And where you guys use to march? that small concrete patch outside the book shop. And remember how we use to terrorize the book shop uncle? So Funny man! (I still have the photo of us robbing him)
Hey Wei Ling, when you come back in December, we should go back to AH and take a look. Remember we buried a box of stuff on your birthday one year? Haha near the stadium? We should go back and see if it's still there.
By: Nippy | Friday, November 11, 2005 at 5:36 PM | |
Yay!!! I've finished my crappy 5000 word physics essay!!!! It's genuine piece of crap! Check out my amateurish diagram which I used in my essay. I drew them with paint program! (Cos I couldn't find any one line) Even though they are ugly, I'm actually quite proud of them.. that's probably exlpains why parents think their own children are the best things ever if they are horrid. (we just love our own creations)
this is is the Gamma-ray thougth experiment by Heinsenberg (uncertainty principle)
And Here's schrodinger's dead/alive cat. Man.. I would love to see this in a science journal...
By: Nippy | Thursday, November 10, 2005 at 11:24 PM | |
Sometimes, I really can't help worrying for Singapore's future. Just heard on radio yesterday, a programme about South Korea, and I can tell you I don't have to see images, just hearing about the lifestyle, their technology and I feel that Singapore is not going to be able to compete if changes aren't made. As always, I feel that Singapore is a wonderul country and provides a relatively good life to its citizen. But where has all the dynamism gone? Where are the important forces that is supposed to make Singapore a cosmopolitan, exciting, cultural city?(That's what the trousim board always promote, but where is it?)
It is not one of those, insider boredom thing. It is not because I'm discontent as an insider. There really is something lacking in Singapore society beyond the farce we put up for tourists. The esplanade, the merlion, the orchid, trishaw rides, they are symbols with nothing to back them up. I am surprised that Singapore have such few talents that are international recognized and Singapore have almost no cultural produccts which we export. Sun Yan Zi is our only "national pride". Something is wrong. How can we be more influential in Asian? Is military might and economic prosperity enough?
There is a reason why Japan, and S.Korea are so glamourized nowadays. Yes they are economic powers, but they have a pop-culture which they sell. That's why many want to learn about their society, want to travel to the countries, want to eat their food, learn their language, buy their products, watch their movies. And then, you'll look at Singapore and wonder, what is missing? We have an educated force, we have the economic power. We have the cultural diversity, but why isn't there any chemistry to push Singapore ahead.
Again, I am surprised. But maybe I shouldn't really be. The government has been going on forever about creativity, but yet, they leave very little (if any at all) space for such creative exploration. How to? When most parents still think that STUDY is most important, anything else is CCA. How to, when most people still think Arts education is worthless compared to the hard sciences? How to, when the government tries to direct creativity processes? They are trying, we all can see that. BUt the trick is really to try less, so that an autonomous space can be carved out for the artists to explore. Right now, they are trying to encourage creativity, they have lots of activities in the new National library. But art is not born in the official spaces. Not in the library. Not in the esplanade. They come from the backstreets, from the underground tunnels. They don't take the structured path. they take the side routes and the dirt paths. And if the government thinks that by simply encouraging through official measures, artists are going to start popping out, they are quite wrong. They need to step back and give the society more space to think, debate, invent and create. And we really need to look beyond education to find something that can define us as a new generation of Singaporeans.
By: Nippy | Wednesday, November 09, 2005 at 1:40 PM | |
Couresy of Amelia's camera. She took some photos of my project for a new media module. Endless cycle of plagarism. She took photo of my work and I in turn take her photo from her website.
Knocked out- exhaustion. I must be stressed, I keep having horrible dreams. Last night I just dreamt that I took a cursed photograph which is a re-enaction and a premonition of a car accident involving myself. It is kind of murky now, but there was a huge black dog and a dead-looking tree.
By: Nippy | Friday, November 04, 2005 at 5:15 PM | |
I have a dream that one day, we may live in a world without exams.
When students can live without the fear of deadlines.
Children can play their video games without tuition.
I have a dream that one day test may be abolished,
And in the lecture halls of universities students can stop drinking coffee.
I have a dream that one day I can whistle a happy tune to the solemn echoes of exam halls.
When students can be free from the chains of grades.
Slackers can join hand with the muggers.
When P4 streaming can be a fear of yesterday.
I have a dream today.
And on that day, it can be declared an eternal public holiday.
The country of high stress level for children may finally not live up to its creed.
Coffee addicts in JCs and Uni may finally discard that unhealthy stimulant.
Let freedom ring from the soppy dramas on channel 8.
Let freedom ring from every Jack Neo movie.
Let freedom ring from the repetitive messages in MRT stations.
From every handphone, let freedom ring.
By: Nippy | Wednesday, November 02, 2005 at 7:31 PM | |
