Why do people swear?
Look at the word 'FUCK'.
it actually has a slightly humorous quality to it.
Mouth it now.
First the FFffffff sound
followed by a sharp ejection of air in URG!
FFFFuuUurrrGGGGGhhhh then end it off with a K sound.
Now say it successively five times in a row
increasing in volume each time.
Sometimes words just can't describe the extent of frustrations
FUCk is a cross-breed between a proper word
and an exesperated attempt to give anger, frustration a voice.
Ffff URGH K!
But of course its low social status means that this word
cannot and would not be often used in
cases of unbelivable frustration.
I wish I could scream it in exam halls
and just now, I wanted to say it out loud in the library.
Or saying it to unreasonable people.
But that is just bloody crazy.
This word, like chocolate
solves nothing
like smoking
like crying or
like jogging when I'm stressed
does nothing
but precisely.
It is not supposed to, pretty meaningless word
sandwiched between other words to have an impact
words like you, or adding an er at the end.
Yes there has been dissertations and thesis done on vulgarities.
But in my opinion, there is no other word as expressive
of a human state of mind
and a part of our human condition of existence.
After all, most of our species
eat, drink, shit, love
and Fuck.
(we also die, but really, that is another story)
By: Nippy | Friday, March 31, 2006 at 9:24 PM | | 
Got alot of mysteries in this world. This is one of them.
How did the bench get into the canal?
Another equally good one
Who so bo liao go and do such things?
If I show this to my sec school Chem teacher: Mr Chin
he'll surely say "No such thing"...
By: Nippy | Saturday, March 25, 2006 at 5:21 PM | |
SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER
MUST WATCH THIS MOVIE
MUST WATCH THIS MOVIE
YOU GUYS WILL LOVE IT!
MUST WATCH THIS MOVIE
MUST WATCH THIS MOVIE
MUST WATCH THIS MOVIE
IT'S REALLY SUPERB
MUST WATCH THIS MOVIE
MUST WATCH THIS MOVIE
GO WATCH THE MOVIE
GO WATCH THE MOVIE
GO WATCH THE MOVIE
GO WATCH THE MOVIE
GO WATCH THE MOVIE
My versio of propaganda..; brain wash brain wash
SIM! You MUST WATCH IT. (have you seen it?)
By: Nippy | at 5:17 PM | |
好烦啊!真的好希望快点毕业...觉得我读太多书会变得有点白痴.
起码在某些方面, 我觉得自己还是很不成熟.
因为写英文写惯了, 忽然间很怀念中文. 好想用一用很可能以经生了锈的华文.
HAHA. 好怪啊. 好似中学被逼写作文. 想了老久,然后随随便便乱写一篇.交了就算.
现在回想起,真怀念过去那种什么都不管的态度.哎...
如果给我选, 我宁愿做个不是懂得太多而是快乐的傻少女,也不想做个知道了全世界但有许多麻烦的成人.
但没得选,只好尽量做个快乐的ADULT LOH....真不容易..
哇!用华文来写东西安慢了整三倍!慢到抽筋....好恐怖的速度.一分钟,连十个字也可能没有.. 还是用英文算了...
By: Nippy | Sunday, March 19, 2006 at 11:07 PM | |
Sometimes, I wonder whether Singapore has simply many gourd-dam rules. Everything seems to require a permission. I think on one hand, perhaps it makes Singaporeans pretty well-behaved species of creature, on another I think it gives very little space for spontaneity and creativity. Maybe it is because we are all so afraid of legal ramifications when we do something that we don't know whether is legal or not, we end up not doing nothing at all. It is quite deplorable. Sometimes, I think legal structures do not equate to our moral understanding of right and wrong. In some sense, I think we Singaporeans tend to look too much to law to decide that for us. If it is legal, it is right. If not, then it is wrong. My sec school friend out of concern told me that using army uniform for activities other than military functions may be illegal. Not wanting me to get into trouble. But it really made me wonder if having so many rules and regulations leave little sapce for freedom of expression. Afterall if no one comes to harm, and no bad intentions are involved, why is it that so many things are not allowed? Alot of rules are redundant, and quite frankly meaningless. And to think our own self censorship is even stricter.
Sometimes I really wonder how is it that there is all this talk of grooming creative new breed of citizens and yet the government still babies us. I think alot of things suffer because of the little space allowed for us to reach further, to wade deeper into things. Often, Singaporeans complain that we are all so apathetic, we don't care about things enough. I think I do agree to a large extent, but I wonder why the complains never go further than mere grumbles to ask why is it that we don't really care about issues. It is not really enough to make the obsevation, the crucial question still needs to be asked. I think the reason for our apparent apathy is not really that we don't want to care. I think complain is a immature version of activism, but somehow we never ever get past that stage. The presence of so many rules and regulations, punishments, strict legal codes and systems makes it seem like saying/doing anything is potentially walking on a mine field. With so many rules, laws here and there, you'll never know when you'll unknowing land on one and get yourself blown to pieces. So let's not move at all. What's the whole point, it won't change things anyway. We end up becoming comfortably lazy, dependent, leaving one small outlet to vent frustration : Harmless complaining.
I don't know if we will ever get out of our dilemma. This fear of getting in trouble wiht the authorities but yet the push to become more active as the world gets increasingly competitive. I think the time will come soon when our current mentality becomes outmoded. Because quite frankly, whilst obedience may be a virtue that the government values of its citizens, if obedience blocks out the development of other more crucial qualities like adaptability, flexibility, creativity, risk-taking spontaneity, independence, and genuinely having thoughts of our own, and actively carving out spaces of our own. I do wonder how are we gong to compete in the future. Because it is not enough to be good robots in the rapidly changing world. And even though people are starting to become aware of it, it seems like the fear of this inflexible and unbelievably old-fashioned and far too intervening legal system still petrifies us,turning us into stones.
By: Nippy | Wednesday, March 15, 2006 at 7:44 PM | |
I Can't wait for Graduation. But I don't really want to go.
I'm quite exicted to leave studying. But I do dread starting work.
I imagine sitting for my last exam. But the nightmare of mundane work with no excitement. (exam do give me some kicks-in strange ways)
I'm bloody sick of NUS. But I know I will miss it. (only after.)
I want to go out there boldly. But still must face insecurities first.
Complain that I didnt make close friends in U. BUt suspect I may make even less out there.
Finally out of education system. Only to go into another system (with rules & stuff).
Seems like I've been waiting for this forever. And what I've been dreading forever.
----
Foot/Side note: Why is there is horrible anxiety about the whole DA VINCI Code thing!!! It is so sickening! Why do so many feel the need to over state that it is a fiction. I'm quite aware that it is just a fiction and only a hypothesis. I think it only shows quite a lot of insecurities about this whole thing. Calm down man, it is almost a paranoia. I think it is just giving the whole thing even more exposure. And to think I got this free magazine that actually called in experts to talk about it. Really, there is so much anxiety and insecurity. I think it may be a tad too overblown. I think most pple can still distinct btw fact and fiction. But the response of alot of institution are actually calling pple's ability to do so into question. Strange. I feel that it is counter-effective. It made me wonder even more abt the credibility of official narrative of church instead of reassuring me. Honestly, I don't want to hear anymore abt the issue. But I guess it will still be hot topic for couple more months. GROAN*/Yawn*
By: Nippy | at 12:57 AM | |
I know, I'm kind of boring. Always rambling on about the same old thing : Graduation, work, life blah.. But then sometimes, yeah it is worrying. I don't know why, maybe it is our generation. Maybe it is just me. But then there is this unspoken anxiety that we have to try to make something of ourselves. Maybe it is the unspoken expectations of parents', all their years of grooming, providing us with more than the basic neccessities. How they will tell us we are all so lucky to be born in this generation, this century, this time in history. Whatever. We all secretly want to do something that matters, if not to the society or the world at large, at least for ourselves. To have a life, a job that matters. To be happy, to be successful, to do meaningful things. yeah, maybe every generation wanted the same, but the pressure to get above, or to say something worthwhile, do something worthwhile seems to get increasingly heavier on us and the people after.
Why fear graduation? Why fear that we might not find a job we love? something we care for? Are we idealistic? Afraid that all the myths we have built up around ourselves about how if we work hard enough we will succeed? Because, I think the answer is yes. Maybe we are the people caught in between the idealistic vision of success in the past and the disillusionment of reality of life. Maybe once upon a time, having a degree garuntees success, what our parents generation learnt as part of their wisdom that they impart to us but by now has become a fiction. What we see as the dream of upward mobility that our parents demonstrated when we were kids, and we also saw the demise of the "iron rice bowl". We saw the crisis of our parents at middle age. How economic structure changes everything but not mindsets. Because I'm still amazed that my dad tells me that everyone needs a degree, even now. They genuinely tell you that there is a way to succeed, but to you the path just seems blur.
Insecurities coupled with the desire to get somewhere explains alot of the insecurities of people I see around me. Whilst in the past, maybe our parents have the goal of providing a better life for their children, when it comes to us, we are left with no clear purpose but to make a better life for ourselves, to make sense. We already have most of what we need, but then how do we explain the emptiness alot of younger people face? Mild dissatisfactions that cannot be put into words. Logically, we should be very happy and confident. BUt then the question is "Why aren't we?" Is it a simple problem of personal self esteem at stake? Or is there something more here? How do we explain why most people have that fear in their eyes that they might have wasted time, taken the wrong path, for fear that it was time wasted and would not get them where they want to get in life? Why take history? Why? HOw would it get you where you want to go? What do you want to do? It is the anxiety I always have to come to terms with everytime someone asks me those questions.
Impatience to succeed, and fear of taking detours, maybe symptomic only of people around me. I still get people telling me that I must make the most of my youth? And the fearful sight of people in their 20s claiming that they feel very old. We are very young, but we feel very old. It perhaps speaks of the anxieties most of us have unconsciously ingrained through the economic experiences of our parents. As if 40s sees the end of possibilities. This leaves us only 20 years to accomplish something worthwhile for ourselves. Why do we feel old? Why do we feel pessimistic about aging? It is unique to our generation. My parents spoke of general optimism of their 20s and 30s. Why is it that at the beginning of what is supposed to be our first genuine step into the world out of the education system which have been sheltering us, we feel so insecure? So afraid that we will not have the time to make something before the onslaught of middle age? When we are so much better equiped than our parents and our grandparents. We have our next meal, we have been educated. I think it is a puzzle.
If I say life is a continous process, a learning experience that does not end, but only keeps going, then how do I explain the anxieties people have towards aging. Because the fear of growing old is not universal and timeless. Aging sometimes meant empowerment. Perhaps,because increasingly wisdom collected through life becomes increasingly obsolete. What was true only a day before, might no longer be the next. What old folks have to say about anything becomes just another outdated load of information that we can not store. Maybe that is why we feel that we have to say something here and now while it is relevant. No, I should rather say while WE ARE relevant. But then if I really do buy into this, perhaps I'm doing the very same here. Why even bother writing anything at all if it will become another outdated view of the world. But like everyone will always be a product of their own time and place. The same can be said of our Generation. We are all products of our time, but being caught in such a time as a kind of transition block, we might need to reconcile alot of conflicts we have ingrained, and instead of chosing between the two fictions, we might need to make our own. Living our own fiction instead of trying to adhere to those put down by people before us. But then you'll wonder, if what I'm saying might perhaps be another kind of idealism: that we can indeed break out of our own context. BUt as for now, I would much rather be optimistic: I'm young, and there are possibilities (not to be found, but to be created).
By: Nippy | Wednesday, March 08, 2006 at 12:23 PM | |
Today I paid my seven deadly sins a visit.
Pride could not bring herself down to acknowledge me
Sloth was too sluggish to give a bloody damn
Lust was inactive
Gluttony was still moaning about the extra piece of chocolate it could have had after dinner
Wrath had its fair share of outburst today
Envy could not be located
Greed was only too happy to see the other two sins out of the picture so I could spend more time with him.
By: Nippy | Sunday, March 05, 2006 at 11:52 PM | |
Judging from my lack of any new updates, you guys can guess how exciting my life is right now. Hardly anything worth blogging about... But any way, [at the risk of sounding like a bimbo] I spotted a damn good looking guy in lecture today. It's been a long while since I spotted any, or maybe I simply can't be bothered with this kind of "secondary" school kind of thing. But no loh, this one is very good looking... (just to torture you guys, I shan't describe, hahah no lah, no point describing, this kind have to see for oneself one)
Haiz, yesterday, talked about one of my sec sch crush with sec sch friends. So lame... Can't believe our universe then was just revolving around these kinds of things. And every small thing seemed so damn big back then. Drama, drama... I don't know if I prefer my current calm but really boring state, or those days when everyday is a kind of typhoon but so damn moody and moodswing...(not to mention attention seeking)... Is it true that stability is boring? Maybe... Shit, I'm like nitrogen right now...(inert man). Ay! don't laugh. I understood the magic of chemistry one day on a bus. Driving by a primary school, a secondary school, and a JC. It is like a live demostration of the molecules in gas, liquid and solid. I know this sounds dumb, but not from the vantage point of a girl on a bus who happened to be very bored.
The Pri sch kids are crazy, they are so energetic, it was their recess, they were literally like gas molecules. And yeah, you can connect the rest of the story....
Shit. I'm bored again, even in such a short time span.... Too sian to continue typing this entry.......(trails off)
By: Nippy | Friday, March 03, 2006 at 10:59 PM | |
