To that rag-tag girl of friend I first sat next to in AHS
the first to share my insecurities
laughed at our pimples together, admired the same Japanese actress
and dreamt of wearing sailor suit uniforms
Thank you for being my mirror, for taking my hand, pushing me to go further
for being my friend
We all agree that you are strong, your strength is the way you care for us
My wish for you is that you may find your softer side
a solace in someone who understands you and who you belong to, worthy of you.
To that music lover among us with the sweetest voice
who shares my passion for singing, making music
who has taught me so much more than all the years of schools put together
showed me the world through various lens
who always challenges my thoughts and brings creativity
A muse of sorts (with barefeet)
The true lover of life and new experiences
who sees beauty in all things simple and true
May life bring you even more sweet experiences which will lighten your heart
like a clean fresh spring (like your name)
Your are the truly innocent among us who sees the world with an openess
Reminding us that happiness is not a struggle, it is a gift.
To my dearest chilli padi friend
stubborn but turest of heart, unafraid of challenges
you always rise above
the one who has sharp insight (and a sharper tongue)
you let me open my heart to share my learning with you
like the jigsaws you like to complete you piece truth together and show me a clearer picture
of myself, our friendship, our ever changing world.
May you always stand true to your purpose in life
which you will soon discover
and see the beauty already made real in your life
Happiness, Peace, Health, Love all of which you are always deserving
To the girl who is the most patient in our midst
who has a kind of gentleness which comes from within
You once gave me words of wisdom which you might have forgotten
made harmonies with me and taught me songs
Life is full of bumps as you discovered
but I know you'll find the strength and direction you've always had
May you remember that you are your compass and your anchor
Water is soft but can break the rock.
To the girl who used to be late
never on time, but still we love
you have strength in a unique way
Wish I knew you better but perhaps it's fate
You know your purpose and may you be blessed as you go on your way
To the jovial and hearty
generous with her friends
who sees things as they really are in the sometimes ugly world
Honesty is your virtue
as you see, speak and learn the truth
But may you never forget that magic still exist
sometimes miracle still happens to those who believe.
To the artist among us
who shares so much joy from her heart
makes me laugh till I piss in my pants
you understand beauty in life comes in all shapes and forms
May you always be blessed with the visions and inspirations
that you may speak to many far and wide
of the things you've noticed in life no one else sees.
To the poet, the sometimes melancholic
sometimes complex, at other child-likely simple
the one who understands conflicts and make it her own
sees possibilities in things
who takes apart, mould and rebuild
all things from dreams, to spiritual to faith that tomorrow brings
something better. Who still sees magic.
To the child-like, sometimes spoilt
who makes me happy by just being herself
who is well balanced and thinks far
you see all that is positive in life
May you be blessed and enriched all your life
and share that sunbeam joy you carry around
to those who are down.
You are colours to a world that is greying.
To the motherly (once-upon-a time)
who cares for us, genuinely as a friend
laughs with us and never at us when we are foolish
stands by us in times good and bad
who never forgets the ones who lag behind
you lead by standing right behind.
To all the rest I cannot name
because for all things there is a limit
you have become some part of me
you made my years here, spent with you where-ever, whenever special
your friendships are gifts I am so honored to be blessed with
You have brought me joy and taught me so much
To my (JC) art friends you helped me find ways to express our desires to explore
gave my curiousity a form
To Felicia, we learnt and struggled together in History, you are my companion in the discovery of a new found passion. In finding the meaning to the past and the relationship it has to the present and its meaning in life.
I best end here, before this becomes a horrible cliche thank you speech
(or worse) a eulogy.
By: Nippy | Monday, October 30, 2006 at 12:04 AM | | 
Maybe it's that gap between what I feel--in all its intensity, in its concentrated form which I can't even define as feeling.
Maybe it's the way it overwhelms logic, reason, language
writing becomes superficial--
like how philosophy gets sometimes
paper-thin asssertions about existence
about anger, love, hatred, our place in the universe
like a layer of skin which cannot penetrate
the thickness of the present, of ---a wordless (state?)
talking about pain beyond human imagination, about events like holocaust. Words, language, trying to put it into a form makes it less.
Less than the experience, less than being
History--like all forms of study is a ghost
like the famous Mona Lisa
only an echo of a woman
a phantom we chase in our imagination and make 'it' seem material
outside of time, she/it is all time
Sometimes, talking about things which truly matter is painful
it cannot be written with clarity
only the frustration is real
the process, the attempt--a trace
like faith
it cannot be said/written
it is not word, not action
it is not a memory, nor a planned act in the future
it is unspeakable, cannot be written
The word: 'I believe' makes mockery out of faith
faith, like our lives cannot be translated
nor transcribed
it is silent
lying side by side with doubts and confusions, questions of significance
So is our past
we in our shallowness speak
Write. Air our views.
But they are only a shadow of us,
traces we leave behind
A desperate attempt to make meaning
find meaning
but we fade
the essence,
the truly real moments, feelings, parts of existence
escapes us, they cannot be contained
slip past words like water
leaving the debris of all these essence
like the trash the tide falls away from
while I have the desire to burn this poem
so it can be freed to return to where it belongs
By: Nippy | Friday, October 27, 2006 at 9:31 PM | |
It didn't seem so long ago when I myself graduated from AHS
I remember, singing the school song feeling that magical tug at my heart strings--a tingling vibration throughout my being, a connection. An understanding that I am/will be leaving and these peers and memories I have made and found but which stays, formed, continue forming a part of me, and that I will always be so proud of, throughout the years. Today. I witnessed RV students graudating. Their child-like but honest thankyou speeches brings back not only memories, but a strengthened belief that sometimes, leaving is not the end. It opens a new chapter which is an ever open road for us to travel on in our lives. Always with surprises, treasures wanting to be found. Always, full of challenges, we think we can never overcome but will surmount. A long road of self discovery, that we must trust ourselves we will always learn more and surprise ourselves along the way. Life is less like a book or a story, and our search for the totality may perhaps be futile. It is more like what Virginia Woolf describes as crystal sometimes held under the light, the beauty of which these crystallized moments gives our existence meaning.
Yes, I think I have changed. And I will continue to change. But I can say that I am thankful for these changes. Saying goodbye to a place, to a part of yourself, to growing up, venturing forth is not easy. It never is, but somehow I do know in some deeper part of my being that--it is all part of a larger pilgrimage in life--a sacred journey to go the distance, test our limits and to take flight beyond even our own imaginations.
Sometimes, I still feel like a child before the world. It is with curiousity and a tingling anticipation that I will leave this place I have grown up and matured with people I trust and love--very dear friends who has taught me so much about life and myself. It is with the same sense of curiousity, a child sees the world as if bathed in a magical light when everything is questioned. Everything is a new possibility and a kind of innocent fearlessness, I hope I venture into whatever comes ahead. It is not just me--leaving. But all friends share my journey. All of us have our own paths and callings, desires in the hearts which always require courage and a strong leap of faith to stop stop stop rationalizing but just to live. Every moment, every single moment. Like how we used to champion Carpe Diem. It is still there, still the same, calling us to live out the moments, the moments.
By: Nippy | Monday, October 16, 2006 at 9:08 PM | |
4th Nov. 4th Nov. 4th Nov. Chant to myself.
So close--so far
I have to stop thinking about it
no mood to pack
excitement and uncertainty--vague anxiety
future's too far--one step at a time
still dislike pretentious people
but well, we can't like everyone
nor make everyone like us
fingers crossed that distance
and time will not diltue friendships
but reality
lives branching out
makes that dream wishful
faith that everything works out for the better
and that new experience like challenges
makes us stronger
and beauty comes
all the more intense
after the struggle
toss me like salad
that I may blossom
after the storms
By: Nippy | Sunday, October 15, 2006 at 10:59 PM | |
"I think the duty of doctors is to give health to their patients, the duty of the singer to sing - the duty of the journalist is to write what this journalist sees in reality," she said.
Anna Politkovskaya, a Russian journalist/political analyst and human rights activist shot dead on Saturday
"The researchers modified NFATc1 in mice so it could move more easily into the command centre of cells, and thus become a little more active than usual."
Scientists discoveres a possible cure for Osteoporosis by tweaking structure of a protein
God sitting in his living room sighs at the frivolous storms in mini-tea cups on earth. Shuts his eyes and asks himself why he had created the human race yet once again.
Mice and various lab animals spend another anxious nights in cages with their cells structures twisted and messed up like flexible play-things of human babies. They ask themselves why they are sacrificed for the "good of man-kind" once again.
People like me sit comfortably in front of the computer, while pigs, fish and plants are being roasted by my mum in the kitchen downstairs. I ask myself
1) What kind of cruelties have we built our sucess/society upon?
and 2) why the fake compassion, once again. Knowing full well, I will eat my dinner without guilt.
By: Nippy | Sunday, October 08, 2006 at 7:48 PM | |
