Wondering when childish infatuations will give way
to something more serious
worrying that I might miss out on life's experiences
that I miss opportunities
and timing
Undecided, fickle, and still that "Geena"
still that silly girl who sees
too much and too little
Still living in that time capsule
with that shroud of a uniform
probably already reborn
after ashes in the incinerator
like a phoenix
on some other puberty teen's body
white with innocence
who will worry about menstral stains
and think pads are a curiousity.
Who thought Romeo and Juliet fools
and one of Shakespeare's worst plays
and the world's greatest romance
a fraud
of a weakling of a guy
and a fool of a monk.
Or that Boo Radley
who was misunderstood
so much like myself.
And then I read Othello,
my favorite of his few works I have read.
That is a play about love
About how dark it can get
and how piosoned it can become
I worry that I will want to live out my own fantasies
try to make plays real
Some things are safe on stage
for a specator
but on news you cry
for innocence and lives lost
and violence.
I still think of that Sunday
when I ran into you
and felt such affinity
probably childlike concoctions of my own imagination
Einstein thinks imgaination is better knowledge
but he was always a dreamer
if only Eve felt the same
time slowed
even stopped
as I stood there
sun shining blue skies
the clouds stationary
all I saw was you
wonder how the world looked from you eyes
relativity of time
is a concept of love
perhaps
einstein is shakespeare's counterpart
somewhere in time
Romeo saw Juliet
time stopped
Othello murdered Desdemona
the world ended.
By: Nippy | Sunday, July 22, 2007 at 4:15 AM | | 
Who sensed my darkness and depression all the way across the pacfic ocean and still surprise me with her introspection and observant nature. Thank you dear girl. I can't promise that I will still be the same Oi Ying in your mind's eye when we next meet, but I can promise you the same sincerity that we have always had for each other. That kind of trust to be accepted no matter what the change. That kind of reassurance that I can still share whatever worries and dreams I have.
It is silly to cry now, and it's hard to explain how much I miss you guys. The kind of freedom in Singapore I used to have. The kind of carefreeness, and silly mindlessness about everything in the world. Whatever the world throws at me I can just still laugh out with glee and turn those rocks from the sky into little gold dust and fly.
I miss that Oi Ying too, I haven't really told anyone how much I feel myself changing everyday. How there are so much I see which I would rather not have seen. Sometimes I wish I could just close my eyes and walk around in the same kind of happy oblivion I had in Singapore. Mostly it is missing the people, the times,the places and the me in Singapore. And it is like the song we use to sing. "Will brainy LIttle Bobby be the stock broker man and can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?" Even if the answer is proabbly not, I think that it is these images of your old friends no matter how they change which still make them special and magical 10, 20 years later. And it is such a beautiful consolation... that there is a sunshiny Oiying living still in your mind who is as real as the rather sad and worried Oiying in reality now. They are both as real and loved by you. Just as there is a Sim who is goofy and brilliant and so loved however you have changed in reality.
From a movie trailer "We are all mysterious creatures, and you can never fully understand someone..."
We are mysterious in my constant change, we are riddles. And sometimes being with old friends afford such clarity and sometimes such muddles. Like how I see changes after a long time and still I see that same essence. And I wonder how I look in your eyes. Have I become a stranger? Will I become a stranger when we next meet? I do not know dear friend. I still remember how you once told me that you saw some old photos of yoru mum's friends in your her album and she have already forgotten their names. We hold on to a past we hold dear, and sometimes the road ahead just seem so long and unclear.
But however scary the road ahead or the uncertainty of changes, let's hold hands and walk down the road to whereever and whoever we will be when we next meet. And I am confident that who ever I am you will still welcome me in your life as I always welcome who ever you are and will be in mine. And that's a promise.
By: Nippy | Saturday, July 07, 2007 at 12:48 PM | |
So Here are some photos! I was just an extra but it was fun getting the make up and everything!
By: Nippy | at 12:35 PM | |
