Dreamt of a crush from some time ago, woke up feeling young. Wonder what he's up to these days? Funny how people pop up in dreams uninvited.
Nippy
Missing the sound of the waves on the tropical island, where we used to sing, cycle, laugh and play. To all my dear friends. This is the place for us to exchange our stories.
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- Dreamt of a crush from some time ago, woke up feel...
- In need of beauty and consolation tonight, I went ...
- It's been half a year
- Ulysses and other matters
- Letter to my younger self
- 09/27/12
- 09/18/12
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- First Draft Done
- Writing Lessons on BART
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Links
In need of beauty and consolation tonight, I went to seek out a random bible verse generator to see what it can offer me that poetry can't.
It tells me the reason why I go to work every day, and though not the poetic beauty I was hoping for, it was, the practical beauty that I already am familiar with and am glad to know.
It has confirmed something that I have been feeling more and more strongly about over the years. Beautiful thoughts no matter how beautiful, if not put into action is but a sweet seed that will never come to fruit. But good actions, it is the root of a worthy life it gives shade and shelter, and spiritual fulfillness. The reward of a worthy act will always far exceed the joy of a beautiful thought.
I hope that I don't just stop at loving my brothers, but that I take steps to enrich the lives of those around me. For my definition of loving does not stop at kind thoughts, but good acts that will elevate, and through those I elevate, I elevate myself.
1 John 4:20-21
20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot [1] love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.
It's been half a year
Time passes, and I always feel like I have so much to update, but when it comes to actually penning it, I realize it is hard to put all those days into words.
No special insights this time, other than the fact that I just saw a sparrow chasing a rolling cupcake paper wrap down the slopes of Chinatown today and I feared for its life. And that in yesterday's news the fact that a man had hand copied out the entire King James Bible really made my day. I treasure these little things now. And perhaps it is coming to terms that in life, it is the small details that count.
It is the fact also that today, an old man in a Chinese bakery shuffled with his full cup of coffee and I didn't want to brush past him in my hurry because he reminded me of my father. Aiya....is it age? Or am I starting to become too easily emotional?
Ulysses and other matters
Finally, waded through Ulysses. It took me years to final feel ready to read the book, and yes, indeed it was rewarding. Amazing, amazing because I was unprepared for its depth and power even while I was in the thick of it, and amazed because five days after finishing the read, the emotions it caused, still swirls inside.
Now I am itching to tackle "On the Road"by Jack Kerouac. I don't feel ready yet. It's rambling voice has put me off time and again when I tried to approach it. In some ways, "On the Road" may be harder for me to get into than Ulysses, given that I am very resistant to the voice in there. I hate jazz, and the voice in On the Road reminds me so much of annoying, nagging, rambling jazz.
Another new update. Moved. Back in San Francisco now.
Letter to my younger self
Have been in a pensive mood. Maybe it is because of my pending move. But I have been turning the idea of this letter to my younger self over in my head. Corny, I admit, but still, isn't that what a blog is for?
These are the things that I have learnt now that I wish I could have told myself when I was younger.
1) If you spend all your time worrying about how others see you, you'll never find the time to discover who you really are. Don't worry about impressing others. It is you, you'll have to live with down the road.
2) It is the people in your life that matters. In the end, it is the people you have that matters.
3) Don't worry about making mistakes. They are opportunities for you to learn.
4) Don't worry about competing with your peers. The real competition is with yourself.
5)Changes don't happen in a day. Sometimes all you can do is plant the seed for change, you may never witness that change, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't keep trying. Just don't be disappointed when you don't see it come to fruit. Because, things really do work in mysterious ways.
6) It is perfectly okay to be laughed at.
7) Treasure the time you have with your parents, because the time you have with them will end.
8) People will tell you to plan ahead. It's a good idea to plan ahead, but just know that plans change.
9) Your health is the foundation of all parts of your life, so take care of yourself.
10) When people tell you that it all comes down to how you look at things. It is true. Take one more look, or two, before you make up your mind about things.
09/27/12
When I was younger, I used to think, that my passion must be my career. But now, I see that I can be passionate about my career and still keep my passion. They are not mutually exclusive, and there is no contradiction there.
09/18/12
The old envy and resentment and competitiveness is gone. The edge has been worn away. Is it the coming of old age, or should I say maturity? Or have I found my place, in this world. This contentment, wherever it comes from, I am grateful, and I am happy.
Back
It's been a while. I am sure that no one really visits this page anymore after months of neglect, but just in case one of you girls decide to check in, and because I guess I am just one of those people who keep to doing something long after it's gone out of fashion, and because I convince myself that it is still meaningful in some way (although I can't quite say what yet), I will update my blog.
Haha. What a drama queen.
Let's see, since last post. I went to visit my sister in Japan. Can't really post about that right now, because I will most certainly end up going into a list of places we visited and food we had. And I'm not in the mood to type up this list.
Still trying to finish the second draft for my story, which I am also certain that it is not really very good, but hell, since I started it, I want to finish it, even if no one reads it, just for my own sake.
I bought a Daruma doll while in Japan. It is made from paper machier and has a roly poly base, so that it flips upright even if you topple it. Both of his eyes are left blank because it is believed that once you have achieved your stated goal then you can paint in his eyes. Then, perhaps, Daruma will grant your wish.
When I finish my second draft, I will paint in one of his eyes. I will update all of you whether my Daruma will ever get his full vision. God and greater powers out there willing, he will.